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Do not let yourself Blow: Dealing with holding in frustrations

November 9, 2011

Okay, so we all have them, and unfortunately there is no way of getting away from them. Those bad days ,that turn into bad weeks that turn into bad months that ultimately turn into a total meltdown, typically at work or in the public eye, because you spilt your coffee and there is not one more empty space for you to store that frustration. So you blow!

The good thing is this happens to everyone, so you are not alone. We are people and unfortunately sometimes we think we are far stronger then we truly are. We think that we can bare multiple blows and not even flinch. We tell ourselves, “It’s ok self, it was only one person, one time and they didn’t really mean what they said”, or, “listen self, don’t be oversensitive, people will think you can’t handle your responsibility.” The truth is, we as people continually convince ourselves not to deal with our problems, whether they are personal or work related. And consequently we do not contain an endless amount of storage inside our hearts and minds, so when that final piece of criticism comes rushing in WE BLOW  

 So, how do we deal?

 Remember not to approach a situation only thinking about the solution. You must understand the entire problem. When you go to the store you do not just think, I need to eat, so I need food. You think of all items you need in order to make the food you need so you can eat. You think of dairy items, meats, and vegetables, and in my case beer.  So approach a problem you are having the same way.

 With that, do not hold on to you linear mind. You do not always have to approach a situation from the front end. You can move in on any angle. For example, after diagnosing your problem, you don’t have to move from front to back. Conversations had with your co-workers do not have to be in any specific order. Choose what the most important aspects are and start there

 Keep in mind, many problems have many solutions. Many of the underlining reason s why we get so frustrated in the workplace is because someone came up with a solution that was not the one that you had ultimately hoped for. So, make sure you include your solution in the conversation. You do not want to leave an argument thinking, damn, I wish I would have told him this!  And do not wait until you get into your car and start yelling at your steering wheel. It doesn’t care about your problems! Go back inside and tell the person your solution or ideas.

 In the end, if you tackle your problems head on you will not have to worry about cleaning up after your blow out! Blow outs are messy, so do not put yourself in a position where you have to sit down with your hr manager just to make sure you are “ok” Be responsible for yourself and get involved with your issues. Do not let them take over your life!

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